sometimes it feels like life is passing me by

            taken on a dreary, snowy and rainy day in winter, in the middle of post-covid malaise, in the middle of february. in a few months i will be 40, which--if i'm lucky--is the middle of my life. i'm in the middle of things. i'm trapped in stasis. and i get the sense that life is passing me by. 

as i age i am prone to melancholy, and to feeling detached from the present. nothing for me is more counterproductive than thinking longly about the past, analyzing previous decisions and inflection points, peeling apart the layers of possibility to craft narratives of what might have been. what if the tree had branched one way and not the other (and does it always grow toward the light)? and then i cast my eyes to the tea leaves for what is to come, what i can anticipate. these are counterproductive behaviors but i choose them anyway. there is a measure comfort, however perverse, in any known habit. 

and so i am rarely aware of where i stand. i'm either stumbling forward with forced momentum, or whipping my head around to see what I just missed. and my feet find no purchase on ground I am always leaving.

Taken on: February 17, 2024

Tags:

bnw

Black & White

people

humans

candid

expressionist

PENTAX-FA 43mmF1.9 Limited

Sony alpha

sony photography

frame in frame

sony a7r iva

pentax limited « less

Sets appears in: • pentax lenses • boston more » • Street • People « less

Groups appears in: • B&W • The Street Photography Community more » • Black & White Digital • "Black and White Unlimited" • Black & White Done Right !. • The Inspired Eye • Street People in Black & White • !! On Candid Street !! « less

Camera: Sony ILCE-7RM4A, 1/100 sec, ISO 800 (more info) (hide info)

Camera:	Sony ILCE-7RM4A
Lens:	----
Exposure Time:	0.01 sec (1/100)
ISO:	800
Exposure Bias:	0 EV
Flash:	Off, Did not fire
Exposure Program:	Manual
Exposure Mode:	Manual
Metering Mode:	Multi-segment
White Balance:	Auto
Saturation:	High
Sharpness:	Hard
Color Space:	sRGB
Software:	Adobe Lightroom 7.1.2 (Macintosh)
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