leave you like they left me here - a photo on Flickriver

leave you like they left me here

            I think many of us struggle with the trust it takes to fall in love, and to allow someone to love us back. Past hurts and memories are haunting things, and they keep us from fully living sometimes. I'm definitely no different. It is with much difficulty these days that I find myself actually wanting to go down that road, to trust someone with that much of myself. Because I honestly don't see the point in half-relationships. Either I'm in, or I'm out. And I really believe that as human beings, we all crave that sense of safe-ness that finding someone to love brings. It is innate in our nature to want to give and receive something so intangible, while at the same time something so omnipresent that all we need to do is walk out into the world to see proof of.

When I went to shoot this picture, I had a very clear idea of what I wanted it to look like. Yet, when actually shooting I found myself keeping the hands bound instead of being already free. I've struggled for several years with the desire (yet immense fear) of letting someone truly close to me, knowing the havoc they could wreak. I've lied and said I wasn't afraid, that I wouldn't want to be the kind of person who runs or hides from loving someone in a romantic way... yet I found myself avoiding any kind of contact that would lead to it. Because I thought I felt safer not relinquishing that level of trust. But the thing is, I also could feel an important part of me seem to go dormant, and not necessarily in a good way. That wasn't what I wanted, and it wasn't what I needed. And I reminded myself that not everyone is going to be callous with that trust. It's funny. You can almost physically feel the portals of your heart start to open up as they swell. And while I feel myself opening up with gratifying leaps, I still struggle from time to time and find myself grow doubtful for only a moment. It might be a bit of a struggle, but it's well worth it. It's so worth it.

Taken on: September 28, 2013

Tags:

brooke golightly

self

leap

rope

float

enlightenment

happiness

hope « less

Sets appears in: • CHiTCHaT

Groups appears in: • Alternate Realities: Surreal & Mystical Images • Sueño de una serie fotográfica more » • ~ The Incredible Lightness of Being ~ (Levitation Photos) • Master of photoshop « less

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