Me (selfie) a glass of whiskey and a painted face in my artist studio in Vienna (screaming drunk fool) vintage photos

            Fount this old picture on a disc from my vienna-period...

it was not a happy period in my life, I loved the city with all my heart but hated the intense pressure of doing far to many things at once...

...and what was worst, the stress had started to affect my art, I would feel intense pressure and stress every time I was force (by my self) to paint, the only thing I really wanted to do was to flee like a hunted animal, form what you may ask, actually I think it was from my self (mostly) 

...one way to get my self to paint was to lure my self with alcohol in to the studio, when I only really wanted to be social, meet people, explore my new city...

sure there was a short while when I reached a certain level of balance, where I could paint or create,but that amount of time was short, usually I would just get drunker and drunker, sing to the music I was playing on my ghetto blaster, talk endlessly to my self, fall over and pull things down in my cramped tiny studio, tread in to the paint, then dance around...

often I would wake up on the floor with a hangover and the room would look a mess...

So I don´t promote the romantic idea that artist need drugs, it might work for a few, but not for me...

Now I am on prescribed medication and my panic attacks are almost non, an I wake up every morning without ideas on how to kill my self and I fall asleep without those thoughts again, so there is help in medication, alcohol just solve problems very temporary a few hours and you are far more likely to have cause more problems for the sober you in the morning...

...and sleep,sleep is really important, at that time I rarely fell asleep and slept for a whole night and ifI did it was usually me passing out because of alcohol consumption...

I don´t miss that life... still sometimes I managed to produce interesting paintings at that time...

so, if you have untreated mental problems, please don´t solve it by drinking or taking other drugs..

if will just make you spiral down in to a abyss of worst mental states than where you started...

I know it is hard to go through all the steps to get help, especially when you trust no one...

But if you find the right professional you might get the respect an help you need...

...alcohol can be fun, at times, but it is not a good medication!

/ Peace and Noise!

/ Mushroombrain once down a sisyphus abyss!

Taken in: Austria / Vienna / Gemeindebezirk Landstrasse (show map)

Taken on: June 1, 2011

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