ragdoll - a photo on Flickriver

ragdoll

            I don't make any sense as an artist even to myself. I feel incredibly opposite of this image - large with life, wonder. I am full, not with stuffing but with pumping blood. I find awe in the mundane so many times a day I can't keep track. I revel in existing. 

Why these dark images, then? Why these zippers coming undone, bursting at the seams? All of us are bound up in contradictions; the stuffing a stark contrast to the fire in my veins. 

But when I really dig in, it's not that I am opposite to it...It's that both exist simultaneously. There are times I feel hollow, several just this year. I can name a few that sit right at the tip of my tongue, if I'm honest. Those moments teach me gratitude. 

This image is a reminder to pull the stuffing out and replace it with a beating heart. To sew my wounds and leave the scars [always leave the scars]. To let myself live. To let myself always be accepting of those hollow times, so that I may also accept the times of fullness. 

So many people feel this wounded, hollow feeling right now. Am I enough? Will I ever be? What do I do next? When will I feel like myself again? 

You're already here. Wounds and scars and stuffing...they exist alongside your passion and bravery and individuality. It's the process of being whole.

Look at this picture and resist the urge to see only sadness, only darkness. They are hollow emotions without also considering the joy of life.

"Ragdoll", self-portrait, Oct 2021

Taken on: October 21, 2021

Tags:

fine art photography

fine art

self portrait

storytelling

zippers

skin

flesh

stuffing

ragdoll

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