In today’s world, a rebellious, push the limits, “nobody tells me what to do” attitude is seen as a positive masculine image. Not being satisfied with the status quo can be a good thing, but we need to make sure that our “outside the box” thinking is not disobedience to God. There is also the danger of pushing ourselves on others or not allowing them to establish their own boundaries.
1. God establishes boundaries for our good, for our happiness, health, and holiness. He desires to protect us and provide for us.
Deuteronomy 32:46–47 He [Moses] said, “Be sure to obey all these commands that I have given you today. Repeat them to your children, so that they may faithfully obey all of God’s teachings. These teachings are not empty words; they are your very life. Obey them and you will live long in that land across the Jordan that you are about to occupy.” (GNT)
Jeremiah 6:16 Thus says the LORD: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’ ” (ESV)
Joshua 1:8; Psalm 74:12–17
2. Satan’s primary, number one attack has always been to question God’s Word and his authority to establish boundaries. “Did God really say that?”
Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” (ESV) (See verses 2–4.)
3. Refusing to obey God’s boundaries—sin—always has negative consequences.
Romans 5:12 Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned. (ESV)
Judges 2:12 And they abandoned the LORD, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt. They went after other gods, from among the gods of the peoples who were around them, and bowed down to them. And they provoked the LORD to anger. (ESV) (See verses 10–15.)
Genesis 3:16–17; Hosea 8:5–8; Romans 1:18–32
4. The world’s secular culture is in rebellion against God’s boundaries and worships the gods of personal freedom.
Psalm 2:1–3 Why do the nations rage and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD and against his Anointed, saying, “Let us burst their bonds apart and cast away their cords from us.” (ESV)
Jeremiah 2:12–13 Be appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked, be utterly desolate, declares the LORD, for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water. (ESV)
Judges 17:6
5. True freedom is in Christ. He redeemed us out of slavery to sin. We now are free to serve him. We must have this attitude: I do what I do because Christ gave himself for me and now I want to please him, always with an awareness of God’s expectations, standards, and commands for me.
Galatians 5:1, 13 Freedom is what we have—Christ has set us free! Stand, then, as free people, and do not allow yourselves to become slaves again.… As for you, my friends, you were called to be free. But do not let this freedom become an excuse for letting your physical desires control you. Instead, let love make you serve one another. (GNT)
Galatians 2:19–20 I have been put to death with Christ on his cross, so that it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. This life that I live now, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave his life for me. (GNT)
Romans 12:1–2; 1 John 4:19
6. A blessed, happy life comes as we establish godly, biblical boundaries, delighting in the Word of God
Psalm 1:1–3 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. (ESV)
Exodus 23:2
7. Boundaries that must be established (selected).
Thinking—Philippians 4:8
Purity—Matthew 5:27–30; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; 1 Corinthians 7:1–4
Use of the tongue—James 3
Partnerships only in Christ—2 Corinthians 6:14
Honoring our parents—Ephesians 6:1–3
Telling the truth; no lying—Ephesians 4:25
Not involved in the works of darkness—Ephesians 5:11–12
In our busy lives, with so much pressure to perform, we must be careful to establish biblical priorities and not follow those others impose on us. Though living sacrificially is good, allowing others to take advantage of us is unacceptable. Balance is needed. We need not permit everyone into our lives, nor is there a need to keep everyone out.
Biblical Narratives
• Adam and Eve, eating the fruit in the garden, Genesis 1–3
• Laban, taking advantage of Jacob, Genesis 29–31
• Israel, at the mountain of God, Exodus 19
• Intermarriage with non-Israelites, Deuteronomy 7:3; Judges 3:6
• Israel crosses God’s boundaries, 2 Kings 17:7–18
• Partnerships (including marriage) with non-Christians, 2 Corinthians 6:14
• Ministry roles, 1 Timothy 2:11–14; 3:2
Practical Steps
• Are you in violation of any scriptural boundaries? Take a fresh look at your life, asking God to empower you for making the necessary course corrections.
• Set a boundary to “go primitive” (no use of electronics of any kind) after 9:00 p.m. (or earlier).
• Are you allowing others to take advantage of you or pressure you into activities in which you would rather not be involved? Evaluate each activity and learn to say no with finality.
• Are others asking you to set boundaries in your relationships in their presence? If so, make a list of how you can honor godly boundaries with them.
Keith R. Miller, Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling Men (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2014), 53–56.